Thursday, June 09, 2005


Religion of Baking?

I checked the date again and again and saw no reference to April 1.
I therefore cannot figure out what to make of this article in the Sydney Morning Herald.

A former Qantas baggage handler who compiled a book outlining "short and wise" rules for fighting jihad on his computer in suburban Lakemba dedicated it to the "martyrs of Islam".

Yesterday the bizarre and often violent text was handed over to Sydney Central Local Court, where its 35-year-old editor, Bilal Khazal, faced a charge of making documents likely to facilitate terrorist acts.
The wide-ranging chapter on assassination, attributed to numerous scholars, debates not only setting up hit squads but explains how mujahideen fighters in Palestine and elsewhere can protect themselves against being hit by the CIA and Mossad.

Among the assassination techniques used by Western intelligence, the book says, are letter bombs, snipers, car bombs and "cake throwing", which it adds, "is well known in the West".

Jihadists are warned to be alert to couples pretending to be joking before attacking the target with cakes. "This could lead to his eyes, nose and mouth being plugged and [he] loses the ability to breathe. Few would suspect the fatal consequences."
Weapons of mass dessert?

*makes sure all his cakes contain serious traces of pork*
Perhaps this explains the incidents of pie-throwing at conservative speakers on US campuses. Terrorist attacks?
Have bun, will travel?
It is true that there was a group operating in the San Francisco area called the Biotic Baking Brigade who liked to throw cakes as a political gesture. Perhaps this is the harbinger for Dessert Storm 2? Or perhaps religious fundamentalists operating under the premise of "pie for a pie"... bizarre
Hear that sound?

That's the sound of a terrorist group jumping the shark.
Right, so Krusty the Clown and Sideshow Bob are agents of Bin Laden. And cooking shows are the new front in global jihad. I suggest intelligence agencies monitor sales of self raising flour.
I suspect intelligence agencies aren't.
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