Friday, April 15, 2005


Vatican Elects New Pope

Ending a procedure which some speculated may take far longer, the Vatican today announced, with the much anticipated puff of white smoke, that it has elected the new Pope.

Cardinals who had decided to maintain silence from the media lifted their embargo and explained their joy at reaching their decision so easily.

Although the voting results are unknown (the ballots are burnt causing the famous smoke) it is believed the new pope was highly popular amongst his peers and people.

The new pontiff, Avery Ant will address the public later today.

Update: I've just found out the whole thing never actually happened and Avery Ant isn't in fact human, but an ant. If making up news is good enough for Reuters and the MSM though...

Important Update: Now that a new Pope has been genuinely elected, given this page will be archived I should spell out clearly that it was a joke.

Hey, I can top that. I heard he's JEWISH!
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