Monday, August 15, 2005
CRAWFORD, TEXAS - President Bush took a brief moment from his grueling schedule of self indulgent activities and graced members of the press with a question and answer period. Posing his well exercised body against the endless Texan sky, he frankly expressed his views concerning the growing mass of bereaved parents camping outside of his ranch. "Look, this is America," he said his well practiced Texan accent, "she can say what she wants to say. Ain't nobody gonna stop her. I ain't gonna stop her. The Secret Service ain't gonna stop her. I can't speak for the good Americans racing their trucks up'n down the road there, but I ain't gonna stop her."
"Now, I realize that some people grow attached to their Disposable Meat Units, or should I say DMU's, but I have a great responsibility placed upon me and I make really difficult decision, you see, and I say we're in Iraq to stay and when I say that you just got to accept that I know what I'm doin' an' I ain't gonna budge. I'm not saying women like, what's her name, like "Ma'" at there are on the side of the terrorists. I'm not saying their not either, but what I am saying is simple: there are two kinds of people in this world, on the one hand you got people like me who make things happen, know what's goin' on an' make the hard decisions and on the other hand you got people who have nothing more to contribute than go and do their thing, you know, go off to die for those of us who know what's happening. Now, I'm sure that sounds harsh and all, but its the truth. Mothers just got to understan' that freedom ain' free. Sacrificies are gonna be made and that's how it is. To Ma there, that's a son who done died in Iraq, but to the rest of us he's a DMU. We're happy she's paid for our freedom without requiring us to pay ourselves. She should be proud of that, but there she goes, being selfish and all, crying boo-hoo-hoo over a DMU. I say, 'bring it on," you mothers. 'Bring it on!" I'm stead fast an' I ain't gonna let their silly attachments distract me from the bigger picture of oil, domination, greed and power. I got me Fox News and Drudge on my side. Who do they have backin' 'em up? IndyMedia? They ain't got shit."
Nor do they deserve it.
Here's what actuallyhappened, and there weren't many dry eyes afterward.